I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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