made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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