My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize