just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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