sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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