Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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