That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
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I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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