Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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