If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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