I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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