I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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