i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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