Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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