in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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