I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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