So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
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i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
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okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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