Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize