so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
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