Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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