she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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