I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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