There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize