How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
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next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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