i already hear my dad disowning me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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