Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize