she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize