im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize