Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
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im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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