i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize