I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize