Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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