It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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