Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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