she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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