i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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