i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize