I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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