pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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