oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize