It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Congratulations! We have a period
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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