well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
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can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
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Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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