i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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