Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize