either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize