If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize