i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
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I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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