plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize