This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
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I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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