I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize