So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Terrible idea I love it
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize